I was just reading what some bullshit unlearned Photographer said about photo art. "Für mich ist Fotografieren Kunst und in der Kunst gibt es kein Richtig oder Falsch"  translation: "For me, photographing is art and in art there is no right or wrong." (Theoretically I should have to give her name as a quote, but lets not embarrass her further.) What does that mean, there is no right or wrong? Of course there is a right and wrong otherwise there would be no art schools and aesthetics wouldn't matter.
 More about our subject.... Her photo studio was a gift from Daddy and she just quit her real job to become a photographer. Her husband naturally wants her to follow her dreams and make a business of the whole. She even lists on her site which photo optics she has for her Cannon 7d and says she hopes to have more optics. She has no real training, but states her love as a child of photographing pets as her background.
 For some reason Germans in general all follow the exact same trends. Now everyone wants to be a Photographer. I kid you not, here in Paderborn there an overnight explosion of photo studios. Most of them are people who just dream of making themselves wealthy without having to really work. It might also be a sign of how desperate people here are for lateral mobility in this society filled with social class constructs. Artists here at least are more favorably looked upon than a salesman at the local store.
 Just because someone buys an expensive camera does not make them a Photographer or Artist. Wait, I seem to recall that I have a paint brush somewhere... Fuck! I am a painter! The mentioned photographer said that a cook with a good spoon doesn't make a good dish. Shit, that burst my painter bubble. But wait, she also says that the tool "camera" is helpful, but the "photographer takes the picture"- OK I am a painter!!!
 I remember once I took an art class with Michael Kelly- the class was his idea and the artist that taught it was a bit nuts, but it was free for us. Mike had really great ideas and I could even call what he did back then art. I had no ideas of art other than that I love art and have an eye for aesthetics. The instruction that was given by the artist was to not remove the hand from the paper till an image took shape with no sharp edges. This should be subconscious. In no time Mike had a cool image that was about connections with the people that were important to him and that some of the ties were simply dropped or cut others held for dear life.  My picture was a frustrated charcoal cloud! Angry I took a finger and drew a stickman breaking out of the cloud with part of his body and a raised fist!!! The artist came by and saw what I did exclaiming "oh, John! I love this!" Mike later laughed about it saying that the artist got wood over my art. Should I ever become an artist/painter then I know that the world has no taste for art anymore.
 Back to the real subject here, bad photography. Like I said, Paderborn has too many self-styled photographers. Some of them just use it to see women naked. I am sure of this, as the photos are not done with any taste and placed on the websites of the artists where all are free to see it. Here is a great example of what I mean. Caution Art in Europe normally means erotic. this page is PG-13 but others may be R or X in other words art. http://www.benjimueller.de/html/art_and_fun.html The crazy part is that the subjects have given permission for these photos to be published on his website. Even crazier is that some of them I see on a daily basis when they change my money at the store.  Quite honestly there isn't a quality photo in the collection. Tasteless. There are enough really great photographers here in Paderborn like Thomas Schmidt and Kirsten Gottesmann  or Michael Austermeier that the other hobby photographers should really quit trying to make a lazy buck. And for pete's sake ladies think about it when you let a man take photos of you don't let him put them in the Net where your neighbors are going to see bad quality shots of yourselves.
 People should really stop pretending that they are so supertalented and simply have fun. Dont sell yourself before American Idol, don't try to be a superstar, dont try to be a professional photographer. Just be yourself and have some fun. 

The Country is beautiful, too bad about the people.

   I never really had trouble making friends anywhere, that was till I moved here. Paderborn is a tough nut to crack. The area really is picturesque, but the people who live here are really hard to get to know. I have taken to posting in a couple of groups here in Paderborn that I would like to get to know a few cool people. Not a soul has responded to my posts.  Its not like we are freaks or anything it is just really a cold environment here. That is Paderborn. They have their friends that they grew up with or went to college with.
   My wife who is usually right said that I am just wasting my time. She said she has tried posting and responding to adds and pointed out that it always ends badly. My wife answered a couple of posts from women looking for friends to no avail. Me being somewhat of an optimist decided to go ahead and see if she was wrong.
 One of the posts that my wife answered received the reply that the originator has no time for friendships. The thought is then why post that you are looking for friends. Seems like a rational thought.
"Hello. I am looking for some people to hang out with, but I don't have time and wont make any effort beyond posting that I would like some friends." When I heard this one I was floored.
 Another we met with was just an emotional wreck and has no friends because she doesn't know what it even means to be one. It started out ok. We were invited over and listened to her talk about how bad everything is for her. We pretended that her completely ill disciplined children were ok. We even invited her around. I got on fine with her husband. It just was that this woman never really wanted to leave her house or call anyone. I saw her not too long ago and she asked why we don't come around anymore. I couldn't tell her it was because she never put any effort into the friendship, but I just said, "Call us up sometime. We would love to visit." She never called.
  A really cool Russian guy who bothered to talk to me while I was working as an announcer started listing off the things we should do together here in Paderborn. I said, "Great lets do it then!" gave him my contact info and thought he'd give me a call. Nope.
  Another German aquaintence said he wanted me to come to his birthday party but forgot to invite me. Not like I really hear from him so often anyways.
    I have really good friends in California and everyday I think about going back and not dealing with this shit here. It is really sad when I cant make any contacts here. The countryside is really beautiful but when the people are so closed, it makes it feel like it isn't worth the while.

The Search

   Lately I have been searching for signs of history here in Paderborn. Paderborn is a City that either purposely destroys it own historical significance or is just so ignorant that it lets historic sites go by the wayside. A while ago Paderborn went through a huge campaign to get an old hospital on the historic building list, only to tear it down a few years later. Recently the city allowed the house where painter Willy Lucas spent his childhood to be torn down. This city destroys its own history and hides the rest.
   What I have spent the last few weeks searching for is the remains an old airfield here in the area, the bunkers that were built here and remains. I have found somethings, but mostly disappointment. The best part of searching is just being underway on foot or bike and seeing the countryside. I have been down the road that General Rose of the 3rd Armored Division was killed on. I have Seen a few air-raid shelters. I saw what I thought was an amazing bunker till I got near it and found it to be a Waterworks from 1917. Still it is very impressive.
   I got the idea in my head when I read a book about how Paderborn fell at the end of the 2nd World War that some of the stuff must still be out there. I see in the internet what people find in Essen and Dortmund. the circle around the Ruhrgebiet was closed here in Paderborn. I think I am searching for something to fulfill a childhood dream of being a discoverer if even on a small scale. I used imagine as a child that I would be a famous explorer or scientist. Now I seem to be driven by my curiosity. I wouldn't be surprised if it were my undoing.
  Searching the records I have found that the best places are occupied by the British military. The other interesting place was the fliegerhorst that was all but completely destroyed by a cement work. I could go a bit further in the Ruhrgebiet, to the border or to the East. This doesn't leave much area to search but then again there are a lot of rumours and myths and lots of countryside that I want to see. Seriously I love being in the forests. I love my bike rides.
   Today I went from Paderborn over Haxterberg and on to Schloss Hamborn. On the way back I rode over Mönkelöh and looked at the Waterworks bunker once more.  The weather was perfect. the lighting was perfect and my camera was dead. =( typical.

permission granted.

So yesterday I got a letter in the mail saying that my residency visa to remain in Germany has been extended for 2 years the card will come to the local foreigners office. I must make an appointment with the foreigner's office 5 days after the notice was sent to me. Ok. thats fine.

Then I opened the second letter. Another government agency wants to see proof within the next 7 days that I have current residency visa. That would mean I have to get the appointment very quickly and sometimes that just doesn't happen.

The govenmental offices here are all connected. They look at each others information constantly and call each other with the telephone. I don't understand the necessity of bugging me for information they already have.

Case in point. after moving to a new apartment and registering the move at the residents office, I recieved a letter from the automotive department. They said I needed to change my address there as well. I thought to myself, >they must be crazy. They have my new address already otherwise it wouldn't be possible to send me letters.<

The reality is the entire government here is crazy. I sometimes wonder between their coffee, breakfast, smoking, lunch and the "whenever they don't feel like talking to you" breaks when do they actually find the time to do their jobs..... making me jump through hoops.

Friendship in Germany.

Making friends here is sometimes more complicated than it has to be. I like you, you like me, lets hang out. Nope, not here. First you have to meet someone, become acquaintances and rise through the ranks of friendship. This must all happen of course through the German way of doing things; the true masters of bureaucracy.


Step 1.

You must first be introduced. This will happen through friends or at a social function. If you have no friends this step is even harder. Introducing yourself will make you look like a total stalker.
Step 2.

You must bump into the desired future friend(dff). Don't expect more than a courteous "hello". At this point make sure that your face lights up even when theirs doesn't. The dff will probably just walk by. When the dff goes out of their way to engage you then proceed to step three.

Step 3.
You now make an appointment to do something noncommittal. Now you make an appointment for a cup of coffee next week on a Tuesday. Now you are on the level of acquaintances. Engage only in small talk and reveal nothing too personal, after all this is not your friend yet.

Step 4.
Make further appointments (Yes Germans love appointments). After years of appointment you will become buddies, pals and then hopefully friends.



Notice: friends of the opposite sex are taboo. Russians in particular think that you only want to sleep with them if you so much as say hello. Being an American is also helpful, but then you are more of a novelty.

Battle of the Bush!

One evening as I went for a walk at 11PM, I happend on a bush with six legs sticking out in all directions. Suddenly three young men clambered out of the bush only to dive back into the bush, flying like superman, after one of the men yelled, "Enemy contact!" Feet were once again sticking out in every direction. "Where is my camera when I need it," I asked myself outloud. This elicited a response...
Suddenly the three young men sprang out bush one threw his arm over my shoulder and started trying make fun of me for being a german. Typical behavior of the British soldiers here. I said, "Hey, take it easy. That's funny and all but I am an American." Then the tune completely changed, instant friend status and an invitation to go drink followed. One of the more drunken soldiers didn't quite understand still and said to me, "You aint got me fooled you Nazi-kraut!" his friends hit him calling him an idiot and explained that I am really a Colonial.... =)
After having gained the trust of a Corporal, he explained that he is applying to be a police officer in America. He said that after 8 years in the Army that he has more experience with drugs having tried every one. "Who better for the Job? Right!?!" I said that he sould make sure to explain that exactly so during his interviews....
One of the younger drunken soldiers bit off a large chunk of a bush and brandished it in his teeth . Another not wanting to be outdone came running to us with a large potted plant hanging from his teeth.
I eventually was able to tear myself away from them but not before i witnessed countless acts of violence on poor bushes and other vegitation.

An American in Paderborn

If Gershwin were to have composed about Paderborn the piece would have been short, simple and have probally brought him ridicule. Its a nice small major city-village. That is going to need some explaining.


Paderborn is Germany's smallest metropolis. Its population is slightly over 144,000. It is about an hour from Dortmund (the next major city and start of the sprawling urban jungle known as the Ruhrgebiet). The people and city here are very charming in their own way, but it is very much a village in terms of shopping and activities. There is little selection in goods and everyone carries the same products. The city is also a melting pot. 10% of the population immigrated from former Soviet Republics. 10% are English soldiers and their families. The rest are Germans, Italians,Turks, Arabs, Slavs, Chinese, Thai, Africans and then me.


When I first moved here everyone thought I would be bored to tears. Anaheim, my birthplace has a population of over 300,000 and Orange County has everything a person could ever want in an urban environment. That said I feel very comfortable here, and am never left wanting for action. I seem to be a magnet for crazy events and a point of interrest for the locals.

This blog is going to document my life here in Paderborn, Germany; poke fun at myself and the people I meet each day. Just don't expect too much. Grammar will take second chair to the ramblings of my brain.